Interveeoo Yoo
by nikoboo
Summary: Yes that's how I wanted it spelled. This is basically just ramdom characters form my brain and my friends brain interviewing our fav HP characters.It's great for a cheap laugh, or if you want to flame someone senseless, but please try not to. First up is.


Short thing to say: Nola is not my o.c., my friend Kay-Kay made her up.

In case anyone cares:

Nola: Dark brown hair, sky blue eyes

Charmaine/Charlie: Black hair, silver eyes. (not related to Harry or Draco)

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, the series would've ended already because I'd get too lazy too write 7(+) books that are _that_ long.

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Interviews:

Charlie smirked as Nola shook her head. "I don't understand why Lupin gave you that ugly thing." Nola grumbled, throwing nasty looks at Charlie's new video camera. "We all know you're a total air head. What's the point of giving you that? And where the hell did he get the muggle money to buy it?"

Charlie gave her a pout. "Oh, Nola," she whined, "you're so mean."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. Thank you."

The other girl shook her head and looked around the hallway. "Okay, coast is clear." She lifted her hand, motioning for Nola to follow her into an empty room.

Inside was a desk with a large comfy looking office chair behind it, and a tripod for the camera with a wooden chair next to it. Nola gave a capitulating sigh. "Okay, whad'dya want me to do?"

A smile from the shorter girl made her shiver internally. "You're gonna be my camera lady!"

"Why?"

"Cuz I wanna interview people!"

"Gimme a break. We all live here. It's Snape, Black, Lupin, Malfoy, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and the two of us. Hate to say this to you Char, but we're not very interseting."

And of course, Charlie being Charlie, hadn't even listened to her. This was proven by how she was hiding behind the slightly ajar door, looking around the object and through the gap.

"Char, what are you-"

"Shh! Here comes our first victim..." she answered with an evil giggle.

Nola had to smirk at that. Though this was pointless, it would be fun to see the others squirm. Especially Black and Snape. Nodding once as if to assure herself this would work out without bodily harm, at least to herself because she was not the one asking the questions (that was all Charlie), she put her finger to the record button.

What happened next was one of those Kodak moments. Charlie used her naturally fast reflexes to grab the poor person out of the hall and darg them into the room.

Nola had to surpress a laugh as Snape was dragged in screaming, " LET GO OF ME YOU HARPIE! I SWEAR I'LL HEX YOU! I'LL BLOW YOUR ASS TO KNGDOM COME YOU !&#!"

Charlie smiled as she forced the cursing prof. into another wooden chair that had been placed in the middle of the room, as she sat behind the desk.

"Why did you drag me in here, Kiba (1)!"

Charlie smiled her sweetest smile at him. "Well Professor, I'm gonna interview you."

"Why?" He asked sourly.

Nola snorted. "Because this place is deader than my great granny and we were bored."

Charlie cleared her throat and lifted a notebook to her face. "Eto...No...no...can't ask that yet...aha! That's a good one!" Slamming down the notebook with an incredibly loud thud for such a small, thin, book, she smiled and folded her hands over the desk.

"So Professor . . . "

"So Miss Kiba . . ."

" . . ."

" . . ."

Nola rolled her eyes. "Just ask a question already!"

Blinking a few times, Charlie looked at her then back at Snape. "Oh, yeah!" She exclaimed.

"Professor, how many girls have you gone 'all the way' with? Hm?"

Snape's eyes widened as Nola chuckled. "Nice Char."

A nod from Charlie showed she appreciated her compliment.

"I don't have to answer that."

"Aw! Why not?"

Nola smirked evilly behind the camera and said, "Maybe he hasn't at all..."

Silver and black eyes widned at that. Charlie blinked again and smiled. "Aww . . .that's okay, Professor." She said softly, walking over to him and patting his arm. She then bounded back and abruptly stood on the desk with both hands over her heart and stars in her eyes and exclaimed, "You'll find love one day!"

Her friend burst out laughing, trying to control herself and failing. Nola took a deep breath and stood up straight, clutching her side. "Okayokayokay . . ." Her seemingly caught composure crumbled once again when she tried to look at the glaring professor.

Said professor was on the verge of explosion, ready to throw anything within reach at the hystarically laughing girl. His brow forrowed as he realized, knowing Nola for almost two years now, throwing things would only make her laugh more, and Charlie say something like, "Professor, why hate when we could love?" or something along those lines. He shuddered, momentarily forgetting about Nola and his irritation and trying to block his brain from remembering Charlie's weird words of not-so-wisdom.

Of course, trying to ignore it only made her voice ring even louder in his ears.

"Loving each other is the key to happiness, with just a bit of respect added."

"Keeping things to yourself is unhealthy. It's like gas."

"Some things you just know ; like going to the bathroom."

"Remember to thnik!" (2)

"Yeah love is great, but it's can sometimes be a prerequisite to hate. Hey! That rhymed! I am a poet, I did not know it! Hee hee!"

"ENOUGH!"

Nola immidiately stopped laughing, and Charlie fell silent after just having to begun singing "The Song That Never Ends."

Snape took a long breath, closing his eyes, knowing the two girls were gazing at him expectantly with triumphant smirks. How was it that they always won? He was willing to bet that they had enough energy to make the Dark Lord himself want to drop where he stood and take a nap. He would never say that out loud, of course.

Re-opening his eyes and being greeted with the expressions he had expected, he sighed, looked Nola right in the eye and answered, "I have in fact gone, as Miss Kiba said, 'all the way' with three women."

"That's all?"

"Who!"

It was a bit difficult to hear who had said what because of their simultanious, disbelieved sounding questions, but once he deciphered who said what, he smirked.

"Yes that is all. I have more important things to worry about than relationships."

Nola had to snort at that. "Oh yeah, I bet." she murmmered.

Snape chose to ignore her and instead turned to look at Charlie. "As for who, Miss Kiba, two of them you don't and probably shouldn't know, but that last..." his smirk grew as he continued, making Charlie a bit nervous, "you've been acquainted with already. A few times I'm sure."

Charlie and Nola looked at each other, than back to the still smirking Snape with impossibly wide eyes.

"Who!"

"Narcissa Malfoy."

"NANI!" (3) "EEWW! YOU SICK PERV! NASTY, GROSS-

Nola's wide eyes of astonishment were now wide eyes of disgust. Charlie however wasn't through with her yelling.

"-AND SHE'S MARRIED! HOW COULD ANYONE MARRY SOMEONE WHO'S ALREADY GOTTEN JIGGY WITH SOME OTHER DUDE? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO? HENTAI! SENSEI! ANATA WA HENTAI! WAAAAAA! ANATA WA NINGEN JA NAI!" (4)

"Charlie! Stop it. We can't understand what your saying anymore." Nola said, a bit amused as Charlie sat down and glared at the professor in front of her.

"Now," Nola replied calmly, going back to look through the camera lens, "Ask the icky Professor another question."

Huffing, Charlie complied, flipping through the notebook rather loudly, pointedly ignoring Snape's triumphant and not at all ashamed victory smirk.

Letting out one last annoyed huff, she put down the red notebook and leered at him.

"Do you have any sort of allergy?"

"No."

"What's your favorite colour?"

"Black."

"Black isn't a colour."

"It's a mix of all the colours."

"But it isn't _a _colour."

"Believe what you want. Next question."

Nola started at Charlie's slight growl, but relaxed as she complied.

"Why do you hate Harry?"

"I don't. I just like to pick on him."

"Why?"

"Because it's so easy."

"Okay...um, what's your favorite muggle candy?"

"Don't have one."

"Oh come on. After being around the Headmaster that much I'm sure you do."

"Alright, alright. Wonka Gobstoppers."

"Ha! Really?"

"Yes. Next question."

Charlie shrugged and looked down at a paper she had in front of her. She smirked, causing a chill to go down both Snape and Nola's spines.

"Which one of the Malfoy's do you find the most attractive?"

"Why in Merlin's name would you ask someone tha-"

"Oh just answer."

"Fine."

Again, Nola and Charlie stared at him expectantly.

". . . "

"Well?"

"Draco."

Charlie nodded, silently agreeing. "Well, I'm finished. Nola, do you have any questions for him?"

Nola smirked yet again. "As a matter of fact I do."

She shifted slightly, directing her gaze and smirk at the now uneasy professor. "Professor, have you ever thought of anyone in this house sexually, and if so who."

Charlie might have imagined it, but she thought she saw a silght flush of pink cross Snape's pale face before it was replaced by his almost ever present smirk.

"Yes I have ; You, Kiba over here, and Granger."

"THAT'S IT!" Charlie howled. "INTERVIEW OVER!" And with that she pulled Snape out of the chair, smirk and all, and practically threw him out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Nola merely raised an eye brow and smiled, a quiet laugh escaping her. "So...

"Who's next, Char?"

**T.B.C**

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(1) Kiba is Charlie's last name

(2)She means remember to _think._ Ironic, seeing as to how Charlie rarely think at all. (Thanks Kay-Kay, I remeber this one from you!)

(3)Nani means 'what' in Japanese. Charlie lived in Japan for a few years. She's not Japanese though. Her adopted mother just loved that Tokyo night life and so they lived there for a few years before they moved.

(4) Translates to: "Pervert! Professor you're a pervert! Waaaa! You're not human!" Yes I know, kinda harsh of Charlie.

Well! That's the end of this one! Please tell me who you all want to see tormented-I mean interviewed next.

The choices are:

Sirius

Lupin

Harry

Ron

Hermoine

Draco

Right! Okay, Thanks for reading up to this part and hopefully you'll read the next once I get it posted! Review if you want to vote on who's next!

Love much,

Dragon

God Bless!


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